Leighton woke up a little after 6 am today. Josh typically will come and wake me up so I can read my bible and have my coffee before starting the day. Leighton uses my phone as a sound machine through the night because we've yet to find a sound machine that doesn't eventually give out. We found a box fan noise on YouTube soon after she was born and we've stuck with it ever since. It goes for 10 hours so we don't have to worry about the noise shutting off or going out. This morning I dozed off again and was soon awakened by loud crying. I don't think she was fully awake just yet, but she sure wanted mama. So in my sleepy haze I wondered into her room, took off her sleep sack and carried her into my bed to lay back down. Back to sleep she went and she let out a couple giggles in her sleep much to my delight.
Our mornings vary as she grows and develops. I've tried to have more structured mornings but I'm also learning to give myself grace in motherhood. For awhile we were in the habit of giving her a snack and putting on a show for her while we got our bearings on the day and woke up a bit more, but making her breakfast never takes long so we've omitted the snack and immediate screen time and she looks forward to seeing her breakfast on the table. We're in a pancake phase currently. Blue pancakes to be exact. I use a couple drops of food coloring and make them quarter dollar size. I put syrup on the side because she enjoys dipping them. Whatever fruit is on sale at Aldi that week is what goes on the side with some yogurt. She also enjoys oatmeal and toast with jelly or peanut butter.
She will often request a bear cave or pallet on the living room floor after breakfast. And I never regret when she has time to play in nature. This sounds easy enough but living in a second floor apartment has proven this to be a difficult addition to our days. We do have beautiful trails to walk on, thankfully, but I've been in a season of pain due to back injury so it's not always a sure thing that we spend our mornings outside. A good morning for us goes as follows: wake, breakfast, clean up and brush teeth/get dressed. Outside for a walk or to dig in the dirt for around an hour, run an errand or two, come home for a snack, an activity which could be coloring or sticker books or sensory bin (depending what I've prepared or been inspired by on Pinterest) and then have lunch.
It all sounds so easy! But something I've learned in motherhood as our child grows and develops is on the opposite end of these well thought out plans is a tiny growing person with thoughts and opinions and big feelings without enough words developed to fully express herself. And sometimes I'm just not 'on' that day and need more grace myself to only do half of what I'd like to do. Oh, motherhood! What a blessing and what a journey. For awhile I was dreading mornings. I didn't know if she'd wake up during my quiet time (this often happens) or if I'd feel like I'd done enough. Something the Lord is speaking to me is instead of my usual 'Go Big or Go Home' method of doing things, I should 'Stay Simple and Stay the Course'. While a perfectly curated list is visually appealing and can bring my mind some peace when wondering how to calm a chaotic morning, it's often a let down when it doesn't go as written. Instead, I try to focus on the simple. A good breakfast, some nature if possible and if weather allows, maybe an outing or an activity, story time and getting on her level to play.
I think about my well written plans and how, despite it all coming from a place of wanting the best for her and to start our day off on a bright note, I want her to remember the happy and patient mama. The mama who apologizes for being short or snappy. The mama who giggled with her and tried her best, even though she fell short of 'perfect' each day. I suppose a happy mama is better than a perfectly scheduled morning.
With heart from our home,
Jordan
Comments
Post a Comment